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September 2007 
Deep and Dark.
Posted on Sep 14th, 2007
by 
Pierre
Pierre
For the 1st time in a long time I'm feeling a bit depressed.
Sure we've been through a lot.
Francois was murdered.
My good friend Tim's house was under attack today. Fortunately he had a panic button and the perps fled. To break and enter another day.
I want to emigrate to New Zealand.
But when I look what's afoot in the world I'm not sure if there's a country I can go to...
I wait with bated breath for the march tomorrow. I will think of America's brave marchers constantly tomorrow.
How does one cope with all this pressure. It's no wonder that it's easier to be unconscious and ignore all but your immediate surroundings.
Eckhardt Tolle would say: "Be with the present moment, whatever it is."
I'm contemplating buying a pistol.
I reason that in the days of old the men and women had to defend themselves against wild animals... the wild animals of today shoot as well.
I'm not sleeping well and have constant violent fantasies playing off in my head.
This is not how I wish to feel.
On the way back from the gym there was the usual tell tale shattered glass on the tarmac at the intersection close to home. Another smash and grab. Must be hundreds per day. Another person scared witless and robbed of their possessions.
And the government does what all governments do.
Nothing.
Oh they do have their little petty in-fights and power struggles and are hopefully sober when they make "decisions"... but that's a lot to ask...
Useless bunch.
What is the point of living in a country like this...
I ask you...
Sure we've been through a lot.
Francois was murdered.
My good friend Tim's house was under attack today. Fortunately he had a panic button and the perps fled. To break and enter another day.
I want to emigrate to New Zealand.
But when I look what's afoot in the world I'm not sure if there's a country I can go to...
I wait with bated breath for the march tomorrow. I will think of America's brave marchers constantly tomorrow.
How does one cope with all this pressure. It's no wonder that it's easier to be unconscious and ignore all but your immediate surroundings.
Eckhardt Tolle would say: "Be with the present moment, whatever it is."
I'm contemplating buying a pistol.
I reason that in the days of old the men and women had to defend themselves against wild animals... the wild animals of today shoot as well.
I'm not sleeping well and have constant violent fantasies playing off in my head.
This is not how I wish to feel.
On the way back from the gym there was the usual tell tale shattered glass on the tarmac at the intersection close to home. Another smash and grab. Must be hundreds per day. Another person scared witless and robbed of their possessions.
And the government does what all governments do.
Nothing.
Oh they do have their little petty in-fights and power struggles and are hopefully sober when they make "decisions"... but that's a lot to ask...
Useless bunch.
What is the point of living in a country like this...
I ask you...
Access: Public
Sooooo sad. I have been to SA a few times, working all over the country. It is a huge, glorious country. I was there the last time in 2000. I drove alone most of the time, into the Homelands, into little villages, meeting curious folks, friendly folks, and herds of children, who, sometimes got a little scary, when their numbers swelled around me. I could see the energy change as mob rule trickled into the mix, and their friendliness moved towards pushiness and demand. That was the only time my “Attention” button flashed. That is when I retreated to my van, quickly.
I am thankful for the experience of visiting SA then as it looks like I got in on the last wave of the lull before the storm. It was one of the countries I thought I would love to live. The people, the flora and fauna, the land, the vibrant colors, oh soooo appealing.
My heart breaks for all who call SA home. I do not see any answer to the fear, hate and violence that is shaking it. It is such a shame that freedom did not bring freedom at all.