The Culture of Deprivation

I’ve come to call the eras we live in the “culture of deprivation” which to me means a lot of things on a lot of levels.

To deprive certain beings of certain inclinations, actions and “privileges”  using constructs such as religion and morality would signify (to me) a inclination to control. Control, it would seem to me, derives from fear which could go back to the most basic and primal survival instincts and techniques known of. Degrees of safety, security and predictability could probably have evolved from the successful experiments in this proposed scenario. Making for “aha” moments. “If I do this…, then that happens”.  Would this be stored in the collective limbic brain? And would we have started to use our experiments in “control of the environment” on each other?

This could become a very drawn out essay if I don’t “reign”  it in. :)

To me the conflict starts with “right” and “wrong”; “should” and “shouldn’t”; “better” and “worse” which are conditions we assign “happenings” as they affect us and which have been imprinted on our minds as “stuff you need to know in order to survive” – and “if you don’t do as I say, you’ll roast or go blind or feel terrible.

The mottoes abound! And lodge more firmly as a mode of thinking. “God only knows!” “That’s life”; “Kak en betaal” (Shit and Pay); “Jy weet mos wat sê hulle”… (you know what they say)

These and thousands of other “terminating arguments” hang around in tandem with our conditioning.

And as a young open mind – this information comes crashing in with “God Almighty” vehemence.

I have just discovered why I need to seduce every woman I’m attracted to. Out of Tolle’s book. A New Earth. P179. A boy gets little or no care and love from his mother. He needs it and becomes enraged that he can’t get it. The proverbial love/hate scenario. Plus the woman “JO” who molests me as a 3 year old. The only attention I get is sexual. But it is “wrong” as I stingingly found out when investigating what I was taught - on little girls. (Funny, the things taught to me by a woman… I get berated for by women. Such is the nature of dysfunction. )

So I equate my perception of love with sex – yet it’s not love. It’s what I know.  – The scene is set in my child mind. You don’t matter. But you want the love of a woman… coupled with (no pun :))… females “want” to do these things to me. Transferred to my adult life it has become much more complex. I intellectually justify, “new age” it, blame the church for prudery, etc.  I was never shown ALL the possibilities around sex and how it related to intimacy – and that right and wrong should best have not become involved.

Yet, “What is wrong with me” has become the vehicle to healing those wounds. And now I am aware of this. And with awareness the hold of my ego becomes less. Don’t get me wrong – I love the surge of serotonin. But I know now that there are other ways to look at it now.

Tolle I think advocates becoming aware of the conditioning. He has said that if you “try” to drop it, it merely becomes another construct in thought as to “who you must  become”. But I myself think of “me” as a construct of ego. As if defined by thoughts...

Who am I really? Am I any ”one”? Am I anything?

I am alive… I am experiencing… Am I life? Why not? The great I Am? Why not.

Is it important? Maybe.

Some thoughts on “lack”…